Train of the Dead: More Like 90 Minutes Dead

Train of the Dead has got to be the worst Asian horror film I’ve seen. AND I’ve seen a lot. To sum it up, the movie has poor dialogue, incoherent storyline, confusing plot, too obvious CG scenes, bad acting, and irritating actors. Train of the Dead is an exception to the quality of excellent horror movies from Thailand. Just when you thought that every Thai horror film can make your hair raise and heart pound so fast, you’ll realize that Train of the Dead has absolutely nothing of these effects. You can fall asleep at any point in the movie but you just want to make the last 90 minutes of your life worth it so you just see it until the end to find out what the film was all about.

I have a knack  for predicting the outcome of most movies I watch, or certain scenes from it, despite not knowing anything about the films. In this case, however, I found the summary intriguing, downloaded it from Yellow Cinema because I thought it could bring chills to my spine. I was wrong. The movie is about five robbers, each with their own histories of murder and drug addiction, who sought refuge in a train that *spoiler alert* apparently was a train for souls (GASP!). The twist at the end was definitely not worth the build-up, if there even was a build-up in the first place. There were no shocking moments, no mind-boggling twists, and no unforgettable lines. I don’t think the actors were even a bit scared while doing the film. They show scared faces but they overreacted so much it bordered on being funny. Nowhere in this film will see you predictable camera angles where you expect ghosts to appear – it’s a bad thing, I tell you because there is no build-up, no suspense, and certainly no thrill. To add to the already disappointing production, the computer-generated scenes were so obvious you know it’s not real. Even the ghosts were computer generated. How can you be so scared with something that obviously was done with a computer?

Watching this movie has badly affected even my movie review. I will not waste my time and yours so to end this, let me just warn you: Watch the movie at your own risk. If you are bored as hell, I suggest you go do something more productive than regret wasting the last 90 minutes of your life.

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