Throwback Post: Graduate Life Crisis

It’s Thursday, so here’s another throwback for you. This post written four years ago makes me feel so vulnerable because it documents the beginnings of my sinking into depression. Episodes still come and go, but working out has helped me a lot. This post was never finished, and I don’t intend to continue it. Instead, I’d rather write about my life today. It’s a struggle, but I’m starting to feel more and more positive about it.


When this semester first started, I told myself that I was gonna work my ass off so that when my birthday arrives in August, I feel deserving to have at least a few days off to have fun. Little did I know that August was the start of my “hell” months, not that I’m complaining.

To start off, I lessened my hours in my other part-time job so I can concentrate on writing my thesis proposal so that I could (hopefully) defend it this semester. I tried focusing on my academics, going to the university to do some lab work on human remains for the first part of the day, and going home early for my part-time job. It was tiring because I had to travel for at least 3 hours a day each time I do this. Valenzuela to Quezon City sounds really near but it’s not. The fare was also getting more costly because I pass by NLEx and sometimes would reach UP via cab on days that its too hot. Yes, blame it on me for being maarte. Haha.

Anyway, I was only able to do this for 2 months.

Come August, someone tried to hire on oDesk. Everything just snowballed from there. I started doing 3-4 jobs a week as a freelancer and it even reached a point that I couldn’t sleep regularly anymore because of all these multiple jobs I was trying to juggle. I capitalized on being a writer and once I edited my oDesk profile, a lot of job opportunities came my way. And I said yes to most of them. It’s funny because these are the jobs that I did not apply for. Those I did apply for never even gave me the chance for an interview, which makes me more thankful for all these money-paying endeavors.

My thesis researching started to suffer because once again, I couldn’t go to the university to study with my fellow graduate student friends, which was sad because it really is inspiring to be surrounded by people who are equally productive as you are. For once, I thought I was going to have a normal graduate life. But I was wrong.

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